Shikamaru's Harem
by Blixxx
Summary: Why does nobody ever write a ShikamaruXHarem fic. Simple. Because Shikamaru himself would rather die then deal with that many woman. I; however, don't care how troublesome it may be.ShikamaruXTemar&Ino&Tayuya.NarutoXHarem.GaaraXTsunade Read and Review.
1. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter One Ino

-1Ok guys well I'll be honest I really like this story. I like the idea, I like all of it, so be gentle. Also don't flip if you don't like Ino, this is a harem and Shikamaru will have other girls, so please read it.

Disclaimer: Also I don't own any of these characters. How do I know they don't belong to me? Because Tsunade isn't dating Naruto…lol

Shikamaru sat there his hands behind his head looking up towards the night sky. It was dark…It was cold, and for the first time in his life he honestly didn't know what to do.

Not that he hadn't thought up a few hundred ideas and scenarios, Shikamaru had been thinking for ridiculous amounts of time; however, in the end it came down to one fact.

"I'm so screwed." said Shikamaru letting a huge sigh release into the night air.

**4 Days Ago Shikamaru's Room**

"No.", Shikamaru blankly said not even bothering to look at the crying girl in front of him. "But Shikamaru I want to live on my own, and you want's to live on your own so why

cant we live together?" Shikamaru leaned against his bedroom wall. Ino was throwing a temper tantrum after Shikamaru had declared he was moving out of his house. Ino had

decided she would do the same. But there was one problem. There was no way in hell Inoichi, the overprotective parent would allow his daughter to move out unless he felt she

was well taken care of. "Please Shika-Kun, it'll be fun we'll stay up late, and party, and (Ino batted her eyelashes before pulling her shirt to the side revealing her shoulder) I

promise you won't regret it, (hook line and sinker. Even Shikamaru has hormones.) _Why can't I keep my mouth shut. _Shikamaru was not happy, but thought the last statement

had no value at all, he couldn't argue with his brain, and when it came down to it twice the people halved the rent. "Fine, but your in charge of cooking", Shikamaru smiled

walking over to his . "DONE! Oh thank you Shika-Kun!". Ino finished by glomping him causing him to fall onto his bed. "Ino get off me if someone see's us like this".

Shikamaru was cut off as his mother walked in the room. "Shikamaru get off your lazy butt and ..O.O…Shikamaru's mother stopped then continued looking down at her son,

and some girl on the bed…What are you doing?" she asked. Shikamaru wanted to smother Ino with his pillow. _This isn't gonna end well whatever she says._ he thought

tightening his grip on the blanket under him. "Oh well we were gonna make love, but we can do it later. Bye Shika-Kun." whispered Ino kissing Shikamaru lightly before

skipped out of the room laughing in hysterics. (He really is kinda cute) Shikamaru scowled and wiped his face preparing for the yells he was about to receive.

**Back Under the Night Sky**

_What the heck was that? Damn Troublesome woman getting me in trouble right before moving out. _He rubbed his face again mentally thinking there might be a trace of

Ino saliva on him. At this point the didn't know if he minded that or not, but he dismissed it as he thought of the

Happenings of one day ago.

Ok Um I put up the first three chapters right away so please read and review. REVIEW REVIEW. That's how I know u want more.


	2. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter Two Temari

-1Ok here is my baby chapter two. Please be gentle.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. How do I know I don't own it? Because Naruto isn't with Anko.

**One Days Ago**

Shikamaru sat happily in his new home reading some sort of Shogai for Dummies book he had decided to purchase for Ino. He outwardly laughed at the pathetic diagrams and

advice that really wouldn't help anyone let alone Ino. Yesterday had been a pain, but as soon as Ino had gotten the okay to move out she demanded they move…Immediately.

A bit to soon for his taste, but at least he didn't have to worry about it. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Shikamaru glanced at the door then at the clock. Ino had gone out to get

some groceries as she had agreed to do the cooking, but she shouldn't have been back for another two hours. _she wouldn't knock anyways she lives here too. _With this

thought he lazily got up and started walking to the door, placing the book on the coffee table. The obviously angry person banged their fist on the door a couple more times.

"I'm Coming!..Dang troublesome people making me get up and..(he stopped as he opened the door and saw death staring him in the face) A fan connected with Shikamaru's

face sending him across the room. "What the hell!" Shikamaru stayed on the floor rubbing his head never losing the glazed look in his eyes. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT! WHAT

THE HELL IS THIS!", Temari was not happy that was obvious. _Rule one don't move in with another girl when the Kazekage's sister has deemed you a possession. _"It's

my house." He stated trying to piss her off a bit more as he stood up that lazy look in his eyes. This earned him another hit with the fan. "Will you stop that!" Shikamaru yelled a

bit louder this time. "NO I won't! Explain this!" Temari held up a piece of paper showing His and Ino's signature as owners of the property. "Is that my contract with the

landlord! Why do you have that!" Shikamaru yelled confused attempting to grab the paper. "Doesn't matter. (Oh your so dead…Temari let her teeth grind a bit) Why are you

living with ditzy girl..er let me rephrase that. Why the Hell aren't you begging me to move in with you! Temari was pissed, but it was evident a bit of hurt had been revealed.

_Flashback! Within a Flashback!_

Shikamaru walked next to Temari as she prepared to head home. She had come to discuss something unimportant with the Hokage, and it being nothing to serious, she had

plenty of time which she decided would be spent with Shikamaru. _go figure_ As they reached the gate. Shikamaru had to ask it had been bugging him for most of her stay, and

as she was leaving he felt it necessary to ask. "Um..err Troublesome Woman?" Temari turned a scowl on her face probably from being addressed in such a manner. "What do

you want Slacker?" Shikamaru continued. "Was it necessary to have me haul you all over the village?" He placed his hands in his pockets leaning against a fence Yawn "Temari

smirked a second before walking a bit closer. "Yes" She stated mater o factly. "Really? (Shikamaru raised his eyebrows) And why is that?"

"Because I'm in love with you." Temari smiled wickedly before grabbing the front of his chunin vest and crashing her lips against his._ O.O (yes that is his mental status) _She

stayed like that before breaking the kiss realizing Shikamaru had gone stiff half way through. Shikamaru didn't move just stood there his lazy eyes open a bit too wide. After he

overcame the shock. His eyes returned to their normal half closed state. "Woman what the hell are you thinking…" he was getting a bit frustrated as passing people started

pointing whispering, and all together giving him attention. _I hate being the center of attention… O-well there just troublesome people. Speaking of troublesome that really _

_was…_ Shikamaru's thoughts were interrupted as Temari leaned in close to whisper something in his ear. "Lazy-a$$, you're my boyfriend now, so cheat on me, and I'll kill you.

(This was a good day) Temari smiled to herself. See you soon . She gave a small wink before disappearing in a small cloud of smoke. "I need a drink"..--

_End Flashback, Now back to _**One Days Ago**

"Why the heck would you move in with me!?", Shikamaru was caught for a loop on that one. Could this have something to do with when she kissed me? He mumbled _No I've _

_already determined that was a joke…right? _WHAT! WHY THE HELL WOULD I MOVE IN WITH YOU! Why the hell would a girlfriend move in with her boyfriend!?"

Temari was rampaging now. "Ino Isn't my girlfriend!" Shikamaru yelled back. "BUT I AM YOU LAZY A$$!" She yelled again…_ What does she mean by that?…I don't _

_like where this is headed._ "Woman what gave you that idea. Shikamaru calmly asked. Wrong move. Now she was definitely angry and visually hurt. "I don't know how about

when I asked you out." Temari was calming down a bit, but she was still a force to be reckoned with. "Asked me out! You just kissed me and told me I was your Boyfriend I

thought you were joking.!" The genius was a bit shaken at this point. "Why would I be joking…you think I'm some tramp who would kiss a guy for a quick laugh?" Temari

looked down. _I'm in delicate territory…slowly slowly.._(Shikamaru slowly wrapped his arms around Temari who responded by placing her head against his chest. "This really

is troublesome". This earned him a quick sock to the stomach".

**Back Under The Night Sky**

Needless to say it had turned into a screaming match when Ino had returned home to find err, The situation. Shikamaru rubbed his temples at the thought. It had been decided

Temari would be sleeping on the couch, much to her dismay for being thrown on the couch, and to Ino's for letting her stay at all. _I don't even know how I feel. This is such a _

_drag. Calm down genius_..(Shikamaru looked up again realizing it had started to rain) _He ignored it. I don't even know how I feel about those too uhgg..well at least I _

_know where I stand with them. But her…_Shikamaru visibly shook at the thought.

Um that was Chapter 2. Imputing up chapter three right now. Please read and review so I know if this needs to be something I keep writing.


	3. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter Three Tayuya

-1Well Here's chapter three of my Shikamaru Harem fic. This was still kinda the opening. After this the fun starts.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. How do I know I don't own it. Because Naruto is not romantically involved with Tsunade or Anko.

**Earlier That Day**

Shikamaru woke up to one of the few things on his most troublesome list. "Nara Shikamaru, You are ordered to report to the Hokage's office immediately." The cold voice

slithered from the Anbu officer, a bird mask covering his face. Shikamaru sat up in his bed his hair a mess. "Gimmie a sec lemmie get dressed". Shikamaru tried to roll out of

bed, but was lifted up bridal style by the Anbu. "No time, this is an emergency." As the Anbu finished speaking he jetted over to the Hokage's office a Annoyed tired, messy

Shikamaru in his arms.

The two arrived at the Hokage's office shortly after, and after being carried in a exhausted Shikamaru was placed on his feet. He wobbled a bit, but steadied and brushed his

hair out of his eyes. (he sleeps with it down) Yawn "Hokage-sama what do you want…Such an emergency..Yawn Normally He wouldn't have been so relaxed, but as he

hadn't even been allowed to change he wasn't going to be sent off to fight or something. Ninja's don't fight in pajama's. "Bring her in", Tsunade yelled obviously tired herself.

Tsunade continued talking to Shikamaru. "Shikamaru Nara about four hours ago we found an injured sound ninja outside our city walls. Normally this is grounds for

interrogation then Death. However..cough cough Tsunade cleared her throat as screaming could be heard. "YOU MOTHER YOU LET ME GO RIGHT NOW YOU

A$$HOLES I'LL $#455 KILL YOU! WHO THE He do YOU THINK YOU ARE!", the screaming got louder as Shikamaru awoke from his daze..he knew that voice. _Why _

_me why Why …(mentally crying) _The flute wielding Sound Nin entered the room spouting out more profanity until she saw Shikamaru and stopped. Giving him a small smile

she completely broke down sobbing and running into Shikamaru's chest embracing him and sobbing. Shikamaru looked at Tsunade confused for once in his life. Tsunade

catching his confusion explained. "Shikamaru we found one Tayuya confirmed member of the 4 sound ninja you encountered. We had planned on interrogating her however.

She claims..(Tsunade's eye started to twitch…This has to be a joke) She claims she was being used by Orochimaru and had only agreed to return to fight in order to be

reunited with her husband…" Tsunade finished _O please no…_ "And who would.." Shikamaru was cut off as Tayuya lifted herself up to Shikamaru's lips by his pajama collar

and kissed him fiercely smirking into his mouth enough for him to notice. "Take a wild guess." Tsunade sighed before starting again "Shikamaru the claims she made are most

likely false I think we both are aware of that; however in a situation in which death was a possible outcome we thought we'd ask you…Keep in mind Tayuya has no record of

being in this village, nor of being married, or any other proof. Besides that you look tired." Tsunade finished her speech and snapped her fingers. In a matter of seconds Three

Anbu grabbed Tayuya from Shikamaru. She grabbed his hand intertwining fingers as she was pulled against her will until there hands separated and she was hauled off. _Was _

_that a tear?..Ofcourse not, your tired...I need sleep. I'm talking to myself in my head.._Shikamaru got a troubled look on his face. "Shikamaru you look exhausted so you

can tell us tomorrow. Well start interrogating her after you give your testimony. Your free to go". Tsunade finished grabbing some papers and shooing him out of her office.

**That Night Sky**

Shikamaru laid there rain poring down soaking his face. He thought and thought. There were a total of 7,343 different possible outcomes, but in the end he only like one of them.

Letting out a sigh in the pouring rain, he stood up. "I'm gonna need sleep if I really plan on doing this…I'm so screwed".

Ok Read and Review, and tell me what you think. Please…I do right little funny skits in my authors notes for those who review!


	4. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter Four Genius

-1**Ok guys well here is the next chapter. Tell me what you think. Lol Also I forgot to tell you all, but italicized stuff his Shikamaru's thoughts, and I usually put parenthesis around other peoples thoughts. I had a hard time writing this, because I wanted to put so much, so please tell me what you all think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Because if I did Tsunade would be my loving wife. (drools). **

After his massive amount of thinking Shikamaru finally decided it was time for him to return home. Another situation he was not particularly looking forward to, but the rain was pouring down at this point. As he approached his house Shikamaru let out a sigh as he could already hear the yelling. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY COOKING IS BAD?"

"I MEAN THIS IS AWFUL WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO KILL HIM?"

"I DUNNO YOU TELL ME MISS I HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH MY BIG FAT FAN!"

"DON'T START WITH THAT! YOU--

"I'm home." Shikamaru let out a small call as he entered the loud house soaking wet. The two girls hearing him rushed to the door. "Shikamaru! Tell that Sand witch that my

cooking isn't bad!" Ino pouted. "Who are you calling a witch, and it is gross, here taste it.?" Temari grabbed a spoonful of some think brown pasty looking thing and quickly

shoved it down Shikamaru's throat causing a bunch of gagging and coughing. "See I told you." Temari declared proud of herself. Ino pouted as she looked down embarrassed.

"Ugg, Ino what the heck is that?" Shikamaru coughed spitting it out. "Mashed potatoes." Ino sighed, and Shikamaru shook his head. "I'm taking a shower and going to bed." _I _

_must be insane to think I can handle anymore people. Dang it I forgot I need to tell them about the situation. This is going to be a pain._ "Actually can I talk to you both

for a second?" Shikamaru asked. "Of course you-" Ino was cut off by Temari. "No, go change out of those clothes your gonna catch a cold." Temari stated plainly. It wasn't a

suggestion. "Damn Troublesome woman." Shikamaru sighed walking to his room. "What was that?", Temari calling after him. Shikamaru didn't answer. "Gimmie that I'm not

letting you kill my boyfriend with your nasty food." yelled Temari grabbing the spoon in Ino's hand and walking into the kitchen. "Your boyfriend! Ha keep dreaming broom

head!" Ino shot back following Temari.

As Shikamaru headed upstairs he could here the constant yells of the two women. _I really am signing my own death wish. _(Shikamaru shook his head and showered).

_Crap I don't have anything clean to wear. _(He gave a look to his waste basket filled with dirty and now wet clothing) I really do need to get someone on that. He chuckled to

himself at the thought of tricking Temari into doing it. After a lot of searching he finally found a pair of boxers and sweatpants. Pulling them on he reached for a hair tie to tie up

his hair in the usual fashion, but let his memory fall back to something his mother had told him. "You know I can't stand that pineapple hair style of yours. You really should leave 

it down like the Hyuga boy such a attractive hairstyle and your twice as god looking as him". Shikamaru really doubted that he was better looking than Neji, but he left his hair

down since he would just be coming back to sleep in a few moments and it would be too troublesome to tie and then untie his hair. Not even thinking that he might have left

something out…Namely a shirt. Shikamaru exited his room to have his little conversation. "Hey, I'm done come here and talk to me for a second so I can get some sleep."

Shikamaru called out. "Come in the kitchen and eat something first!" Called Temari who had just finished making a few plates of food, and now sat down herself to eat. Ino

wasn't happy, but having not eaten anything herself all day she was willing to level just this once. Temari had just taken a sip of her drink, and Ino was in the process of chewing

a piece of bread as Shikamaru entered the room. "Pfffft!" Temari spat out all of the water she was drinking as Ino likewise began choking on her food eventually coughing it

onto her plate. "What?" Shikamaru asked tilting his head to the side slightly causing his fair to fall in front of his eyes. He noticed and pushed it back with annoyance before

turning his focus back to the two girls who had still not given him an excuse for the outburst he had received upon entering the room. (You think He'd object if I jumped him

right no?) Temari thought to herself her eyes moving from his surprisingly toned abs, chest, and neck line, and eventually to his defined facial features covered slightly by his free

hair hanging at the sides of his face. _Ok I'm starting to get annoyed._ "Okay what's with the silent tre- INO IS YOUR NOSE BLEEDING?" Shikamaru yelled out noticing the

small trickle of red falling down her face. Ino finally snapping out of her perverse trance held up her nose trying to stop the bleeding. (Oh crap bad Ino what the heck were you

EEP!) Ino's thoughts came to an abrupt halt as Shikamaru tilted her head forward and applied pressure to her nose with a paper towel he had gotten. Ino blushed an extreme

shade of red ash she looked up at his annoyed look. "Sorry Shika-kun it must be really um..Humid… I can take it from here"Ino pulled away her chin from Shikamaru's hand

and walked to the restroom calling back. "You just start discussing what you needed to I'll be back in a second. Ino left embarrassed as a wicked smile spread across Temari's

lips. This didn't go unnoticed by Shikamaru who was now sweating profusely. "What are you thinking woman?" Shikamaru asked sounding a bit more disturbed than he would

have liked to. "Changing seats." She simply stated pushing her chair out from under her she seductively walked towards him sitting on his lap and placing her arms around his

neck . She smiled again as she got her desired response. An extremely red angry Shika-kun. "What the heck are you doing!?" Shikamaru yelled his face turning redder than it

was a few moments ago. "I told you I was switching seats." She smirked giving him a small kiss on the neck. Temari seemed to enjoy this as she she was now laying several

similar kisses around his neckline ever so often giving him a small nip. _Bad thoughts focus focus Shikamaru. But it feels so good I can admit that much. _Shikamaru let out a

lazy moan causing an enormous smile to spread over Temari's lips as she continued. _Think how do I get her off of me before Ino- _"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN

HERE?" Ino Let out a yell as she stomped across the room. "What does it look like Ditz Shika-Kun and I are having a little fun. Ne Shikamaru?" Temari asked blowing in his

ear. "SHIKAMARU WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Ino yelled again. " Um Ino its really not. I mean she was." Shikamaru tried to talk normally but he had to face the facts.

He may have been a genius, but that didn't mean he wasn't susceptible to certain acts of affection. "Temari get off him Now!" Ino demanded pointing to her seat. "Make me?"

Temari laughed returning to her previous acts. "Fine if that's how you wanna do this." Ino smirked pushing Temari more so onto Shikamaru's right knee, and sat her self down

on the left wrapping her arms around his waist. Temari moved her head around Shikamaru's chest so she could face Ino, and an extremely intense glaring match began. While

the two woman killed each other with their eyes Shikamaru was having a mental break down. He looked down at them turning an even deeper shade of red as their scents finally

hit his nose. _Lilac, and Strawberries? _Whatever it was the combination of the two scents combined with the pressure of the girls holding onto his bare chest was driving him

insane. _I'm never taking my shirt off again. _He soon realized he was going to have an even bigger problem on his hands if they didn't get off of him soon. The two girls

stopped their brutal glares as they noticed shikamaru was now shaking a bit. "You okay Shika?" Ino asked moving her face up to his. _That's not helping._ "Whats wrong Lazy-

A$$?" Temari asked a second later taking one of her arms from around his neck and placing it to his forehead. _Think fast think you're a genius dam#it. _Shikamaru was

panicking more as he realized he wasn't going to be able to handle this much longer. " I need to get some sleep!", Shikamaru yelled sitting up causing both girls to fall flat on their

butts. "What the Hell!" Temari screamed rubbing her back end. Ino made a similar comment, but Shikamaru had already locked himself in his room breathing heavily. _I'll tell _

_them tomorrow…_ Shikamaru wasn't happy about springing the new situation on them, but if he had stayed there any longer. Shikamaru looked down and blushed. "I need

some sleep." He sighed throwing himself on his bead. He was scheduled to meet Tsunade at 8:00 A.M, and he wasn't looking forward to that situation either. _damn trouble- _

Snore

**8:45 A.M**

Shikamaru lazily opened his eyes feeling way more refreshed than he usually did. Stretching he let out a yawn and scratched an itch on his shirtless chest. "What Time is it?" He

asked no one in particular as he looked at the clock besides his bed. "I'M FOURTY FIVE MINUTES LATE!", Screamed Shikamaru jumping out of his bed and franticly

trying to find anything to wear. Remembering last night he determined he didn't have any clean clothing. Deciding to just grab something dirty he went to his waste basket, but

upon picking up an article of clothing he discovered that all his clothes were damp from throwing his wet clothing in the basket. Panicking he looked for anything that happened

to be dry and found a fish netting shirt. It was going to have to work. After throwing on his shoes and pulling up his hair Shikamaru sprinted out the front door leaving two very

confused woman.

At around 9:15 Shikamaru was finally escorted into the Hokage's office. Tsunade was sitting at her desk a scowl on her face and a glass in her hand. "Tsunade-Sama isn't it a

bit early to start drinking?", Shikamaru asked an earnest question for once taking a seat across from her._ I don't know where this woman puts her liquor, I mean what the _

_heck she's like a alcohol fish. _Shikamaru gave a confused look that did not go unnoticed by the frustrated woman. "First off I've been waiting for you for the past hour and

you Shikamaru were the one who was late (what else was I supposed to do but drink), and Second I suggest you dress more appropriately yourself before barking orders at

your superiors", Tsunade finished taking another swig of her sake. "Now lets get this over with so I can finally get some rest." Tsunade declared. Shikamaru nodded slightly

embarrassed at the earlier remarks about his clothing. Tsunade cleared her throat and prepared to jot down some notes on her pad of paper. "Shikamaru Nara at what point did

you encounter Tayuya on the battle field during the Sauske retrieval mission." Tsunade asked not even bothering to look up. _Well it's now or never, you better know what _

_your doing genius. _Shikamaru cleared his head of any stray thoughts and cleared his thought nervously before responding. "I didn't." shikamaru let out a small smirk as the

stunned Hokage dropped her pen and stared blankly. "What?" She asked too stunned to get any more words. Shikamaru smiled and continued. "I did not fight one Tayuya of

the sound four. My opponent was a black haired woman about five feet in height with a large sword. (first description that came to Shikamaru's head)". Tsunade began rubbing

her temples as she already didn't like where this was going. "So basically what your telling me is that-" Shikamaru finished Tsunade's sentence . "that Tayuya is indeed my wife.

We were married about one year ago while I was on a mission to the rice country with my original team. Sadly she was taken from me before I could bring her home, and

introduce her. You don't know what a relief it is to no she is safe again" Shikamaru smiled at his cleverness. Of course Tsunade would never believe his story, but it didn't

matter. The leaf village had an interesting policy of giving pardons to those ninja's used against there will for combat, and being the genius Shikamaru was he of course was

aware of this. "Shizune!" Tsunade called out. The short black haired woman soon entered the Hokage's office uttering a small "Yes Hokage-Sama." Please have the Anbu unit

guarding one Tayuya Nara escort her here immediately." Tsunade gave Shikamaru a disgusted look as she finished her sentence. Shizune bowed and quickly left the room.

Shikamaru smiled quite amused with himself as he laid back in the chair he was sitting. "Do you have any idea what your doing?" Tsunade asked drilling holes into him with her

eyes. Shikamaru ignored it not willing to let anything slip. "I don't know what your talking about Tsunade-sama." He smiled. The two sat there in silence as again the streams of

foul language echoed down the halls. "YOU RAT BA$TARD I'LL KILL YOU WHO THE $$43 DO YOU #4513 THINK YOU 6243$ ARE! LET GO OF ME!" Tayuya

abruptly stopped as she was thrown on the floor at Shikamaru's feet. "What the hell is he here for?" Tayuya asked getting up and surveying the room. For a second she thought

of trying to escape, but her thoughts were dashed at the massive security in the room. Shikamaru leaned over and smiled. "Now dear is that any way to treat your husband?"

Shikamaru gave her a light peck on the lips causing her eyes to shoot open. _Gotta make this convincing _Thought Shikamaru. Tayuya still laid on the floor. But after a moment

she regained her composer and stood up yelling. "WHO THE F234 DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!" Tayuya screamed grabbing his mesh shirt. She didn't care who he was no

one took advantage of her, not even if he did have a extremely attractive body..and great intellect, and.._Dam5it!_ She mentally screamed. Shikamaru moved her to the side.

"Forgive her Hokage-Sama she's probably mad at me for not clearing her name right after I saw her, but I was so shocked and tired I couldn't respond" Shikamaru pretended

to be upset all the while considering a career in acting. "I'm sure." Tsunade stated obviously fuming at the thought of losing information on the sound village. "Well if you'll

excuse us." Shikamaru bowed and grabbed Tayuya's hand and started dragging her out of the room. Normally Tayuya would have resisted, but at this point she was confused

as hell. (did this idiot really say I was his wife? No way nobodies that stupid. I can't even believe this I'm just going to walk out.) Tayuya's glazed over look was broken as

Shikamaru stopped apparently to listen to the Hokage's final word. "Shikamaru Nara. Know that you will be under surveillance. If I so much as see one thing that looks fishy to

me. I'll personally see to it that you spend the rest of your troublesome life in prison." Tsunade finished smirking. As if Shikamaru was so naïve. There was no way he was gonna

crumble over fear tactics. "Yes Hokage-Sama." Shikamaru again bowed and drug a confused Tayuya out of the office. Tsunade gave the Anbu a quick nod as they closely

followed the two as they exited the monument.

**Outside the Hokage Manor**

As soon as they exited the building Shikamaru threw Tayuya up against the building and slammed his lips against hers. Tayuya's eyes opened even more shocked than before as

she leaned into the kiss. She was about to move things forward a bit more, but stopped realizing her situation. She broke the kiss, and punched him across the face. Hard.

"WHO THE F#42 DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO JUST KISS RANDOM PEOPLE OFF THE STREET YOU DI&$" Tayuya screamed

twisting him around and slamming him against the wall. Shikamaru let out a sigh_. Always troublesome, always a drag._ "Tayuya", Shikamaru began with a whisper. She tilted

her head with a pissed off look as Shikamaru continued. "Tayuya, aside from the fact that you kissed me first, your in the center of the village surrounded by Anbu Black Opps.

I wouldsincerely suggest acting a bit more civil. If you really wanna kill me wait at least until we get home." Tayuya blushed slightly as Shikamaru grabbed her hand and

practically drug her down the street to his house. She yelled the whole way, and when he arrived Shikamaru silently thanked God for making sure Ino and Temari were currently

out. _Well __that's where step one ended. Time to improve for a bit. _Shikamaru turned and was about to say something when Tayuya's leg came swinging around preparing for

a kick to his skull.

**Blix: (blink blink) Well that was a nice amount of reviews for such a short period of time. Right dear?**

**Tsunade: It was okay. (Takes a sip of sake)**

**Blix: (something's wrong) Um dear is something wrong?**

**Tsunade: (points behind me)**

**Temari.Fl: Hi there. (smiles waving)**

**Blix: Err what are you doing here? **

**Temari.Fl: Remember you said you do little skits with the people who review.**

**Blix: Oh ya I guess I kidnap did..ha ha (looks nervously at Tsunade)**

**Spedclass: Someone's in the dog house.**

**Dragon'sAssistant: Why would he be in trouble?**

**Spedclass: Probably because of all of us in there house..at this ungodly hour (its 12:35 for me guys)**

**Bigzzz134: Oh that's ridiculous I'm sure Blix and Tsunade are doing great.**

**Temari.Fl: Usually when one half of a couple is angrily drinking that's not a good sign.**

**All: (Sweatdrops)**

**Blix: I'm sleeping alone tonight aren't I dear.**

**Tsunade: Good guess (leaves slamming bedroom door shut)**

**Ani-Blast: Since Blix is incapacitated I'll remind you all THAT THE STORY CONTINUES IF THE REVIEWS CONTINUE. BLIXXX NEEDS TO KNOW U WANT MORE.**

**Blix: Thanks Ani-blast…(crying) Everyone read and review. (knocking on door)..Tsu-Chan let me in.**

**Bigzzz134: Poor guy.**


	5. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter Five Improv

-1**Hey everyone. I'm here with another chapter of Shikamaru's Harem. Now I was planning on waiting for more reviews before I posted again, but since it's Christmas and I'm feeling romantic, I'm gonna write a short chapter. Almost like a gift for my lovely readers. Now this chapter is a bit Shikamaru and Tayuya oriented, but for this story to work, I need to develop their relationship a lot seeing as they have the farthest to go before becoming… err I think lovers is the right word. As soon as I get like 35 reviews or so I plan on updating again with a nice long chapter. Enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Naruto, and Tsunade is still mad at me for letting strangers in our house so late at night.**

Shikamaru let out a small sigh of relief that the first step of his plan had gone by so smoothly. _Ok now for a little improvisation. Please God let this go well._ Shikamaru

collected his thoughts and turned to speak to Tayuya when he realized her leg was swinging through the air preparing to connect with his skull. Using the reflexes he had built

up for most of his life Shikamaru leaned back avoiding the kick. "What The Hell Woman!" yelled Shikamaru leaning forward again. "ARE YOU THAT DENSE 6534

LICKER! Ha! You practically broke an S class criminal out of prison and expect me to act like a 5687ing princess. You must be out of your mind you little 3457!" as Tayuya

spoke she continued sending dangerous kicks and punches towards a dodging Shikamaru, who was trying his best to keep his home intact. " Well I appreciate the gratitude."

Shikamaru sighed dodging a kick that shattered a small vase of flowers. _Ino's gonna be pi$$ed._

" I just have one question retard." Tayuya laughed sending a punch that did connect with Shikamaru's face sending him into a large mirror. (the mirror shattered

obviously). Shikamaru looked curious as he rubbed the broken glass out of his hair and sat up. "What's that?" Tayuya stopped her assault so she could speak. "Why the hell did

you say all those things to get me out of prison. And don't give me some bull-sh44 about that kiss, or the marriage thing I pulled, because I was honestly just trying to cause you

a bit of grief. Tayuya smiled to herself. (if I'm gonna die I might as well make this pain in the a$$ miserable and confused for a while). Shikamaru was not as amused as he fully

stood up and spoke. You know, right now I'm living with two different girls. It's really troublesome." Shikamaru finished picking a piece of broken mirror out of his now cut

hand. "What the 6765 is that supposed to mean you lazy 8779." Tayuya asked staring at the red on Shikamaru's finger. Shikamaru looked down dropping the piece of red glass

and looking down embarrassed.

Shikamaru: You kissed me.

Tayuya: Who the hell cares it was just to try and cause you stress before they bumped me off. (an unnoticeable amount of red fell to her cheeks)

Shikamaru: They kissed me too. And they're here.

Tayuya: Well lucky you, what the hell you want an award.

Shikamaru: You were crying… (Shikamaru looked down annoyed with the whole situation)

Tayuya mentally flinched, she wasn't excepting that. She had really hoped she hadn't. She had tried not to, hell shed even tried to make herself believe she didn't, but she did.

Deep down she knew she had because of one simple fact. Tayuya was scared. Really scared. She didn't want to be alone in the end. To die without anyone thinking of her. A

forgotten criminal. Shikamaru was familiar to her even if it wasn't in a good way, and even if he thought of her with pure hate. Someone would be thinking of her. "Tayuya you

probably have reason to want to take my life, but I don't have any reason to see you as an enemy, other than a pain in the a$$ woman. (Tayuya let out a low growl at that

comment) So this is what's going to happen. Your gonna be good for the next few days at least until I can get you out of the village. After that your free to go." Shikamaru gave

a lazy smile as he looked at his finger a bit annoyed that the bleeding hadn't stopped. Tayuya had unconsciously walked towards Shikamaru and was now staring at the bleeding

finger as well. Tayuya mentally laughed as she remembered it to be the same one he dislocated to escape her genjutsu. " I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit confused queer."

Tayuya spat out after a moment of silence. "About what?" Shikamaru was surveying the room for the first time and mentally panicking as he was soooo dead once Ino or

Temari got home and saw the condition of the house. "This whole situation. I don't get why you feel the need to help me. I'm just going to kill you in your sleep and escape on

my own, or something along those lines." Tayuya didn't sound angry, but was confused, as she had been for the past 48 hours. "It would be less troublesome than dealing with

Ino, and Temari. Crap there gonna kill me when they get home." Shikamaru frowned at the thought. Tayuya smiled a bit amused grabbing Shikamaru's bleeding finger and lifting

it to her face. "I'll play house with you for a day or two, but you better have a way to get me out of this craphole village in a couple days or I'll slit your throat." Tayuya smirked

taking Shikamaru's cut finger into her mouth. Using her tongue to lap up any blood that decided it was leaving Shikamaru's body. O.O Shikamaru sat there in utter shock staring

at Tayuya. The ninja who had attempted to kill him on more than one occasion was molesting his finger in the middle of a destroyed house he shared with two other women

In what seemed to all play out in slow motion Temari, and Ino threw open the door screaming at each other as usual. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE. WE'VE ALL

AGREED SHIKAMARU DOESN'T WANT YOUR NASTY A$$ FOOD." Temari screamed not bothering to look away from Ino. Shikamaru was frozen petrified staring

waiting for someone to notice, and Tayuya simply let a small smile creep to her lips as she continued sucking on his finger. (At this point just to make sure Shikamaru was caught

in the act.) "YA AND HE DOESN'T WANT YOUR NASTY A$$! PERIOD!" Ino yelled back. She stopped as she didn't get the response she had hoped for. Ino looked

confused as Temari's shocked face slowly turned red with anger as she pointed towards the scene. Ino turned and almost immediately the two let out a scream.

"SHIKAMARU WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"…_Why is everything so troublesome. Shikamaru mentally moaned in pure anguish/amusement._

**That's what I got everyone. I know it's short and I know its very Shikamaru and Tayuya oriented, but it was just something to tide you over until I get the ****amount of reviews I want. Like err. 34-ish. Review please. **


	6. Shikamaru's Haewm Chapter Six Tem2Naru1

-1**Okay guys here's another chapter, I really like where I went with this one, but I had a bit of trouble torwards the end. Please tell me what you think. Also things may seem to be getting a bit troublesome, but they'll get better. I promise. So enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Think he's for sale?**

"SHIKAMARU WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"…_Why is everything so troublesome. Shikamaru mentally moaned in pure anguish. _Tayuya smiled in her

usual sinister smile before releasing his finger. "I'm gonna take a shower." Tayuya stepped over the broken glass in the room and walked down the hall leaving Shikamaru to the

lions. _I'm screwed. Lets think you're a genius how many logical ways are there to get out of this situation…None…This is gonna be troublesome. _Just as Shikamaru

had finished his thought Ino grabbed him by his Chunin vest and slammed him against the wall. "Shikamaru I'm trying to remain calm. Now explain to me why your messing

around with some random girl in our house, AND WHY THE HELL IS MY HOUSE TRASHED! Shikamaru started to sweat bullets. "Well um that's Tayuya she is gonna be

staying with us for a few days, and the house kinda um..I found it like this when I got home?" Shikamaru almost questioned. _She won't believe that._ "You think I believe that

crap!" Ino asked digging her nails into his vest. Temari had finally gotten over her initial shock and was now slowly moving her fan on and off of her shoulders. "Shikamaru,

don't you dare tell me that woman is who I think she is." Temari asked insanity reflecting in her eyes. Shikamaru was slowly crumbling. Ino and Temari were not yelling they

even seemed civil, and to be honest it was scaring the crap out of Shikamaru. "Ok. Who do you think she is?", Shikamaru asked trying to act calm. Temari gave an evil smile.

Shikamaru gulped, as Temari motioned for Ino to step aside, of which she did. Ino folded her arms watching what Temari was going to do.

**The Next Day**

Shikamaru woke up with a horrible pain in his head, and a complete cluelessness of where he was. He took in the surroundings and after adjusting his eyes to the light he

realized he was in his living room, still utterly destroyed. Shikamaru rubbed his head as he stood up with a confused look. _What the heck happened. Was it all a dream? No I _

_don't suppose that life would let me off the hook that easily..Ugg my head. What happened? Lets see. Temari and Ino came home Tayuya took a shower, The girls _

_weren't happy and…Nothing._ Shikamaru let out a huge sigh as he tried to balance himself. He winced a bit as he really had never had this much pain in his head before. "Damn

troublesome head ache. Damn troublesome everything.", Shikamaru complained to himself as he hobbled towards his room. He could feel the sweet relief of his bed. He weakly

smiled and attempted to turn it, but soon realized it was locked. He sighed as he looked up at the door and in addition noticed a small talisman sealing the door shut.

"Troublesome. Why the heck is my room locked?." Shikamaru sat down his back against his bedroom door laying his head back and looking up. A few seconds later a door

opening and footsteps as Temari walked out of the bathroom fully dressed. "Morning Troublesome woman?" Shikamaru tried to smile as he looked up. His head was pounding

so much at this point that he could barely think. Temari smiled back as she walked towards Shikamaru and crouched down to his level. "Morning yourself. How are you

feeling?" Temari asked. "My head hurts like hell, but besides that I think I'm okay. Um. Can you tell me what happened yesterday I seemed to have blacked out. Temari gave a

hardy chuckle as she spoke. "Actually I knocked you out." Shikamaru gave a what the hell look as he asked why. "Because I was bored. Why the hell do you think?" Temari

smiled as she fell from her crouching position to a sitting position only a few inches away from Shikamaru. She continued speaking a second later. "Tayuya explained the

situation to me and Ino, and to be honest I'm not to happy about it." Temari looked serious now as she twiddled her fingers. "Temari she was going to be put to death and she-

"Shikamaru was cut off. "She kissed you?" Temari looked a bit hurt now, and a mixture of shock and shame made its way to Shikamaru's face. "I don't know what your

reasons are Lazy A$$ but lemmie make one thing clear. I have no intention of being some tramp sharing you with a bunch of other girls, and to be honestly I thought you were

better than that. Then to just lead a bunch of people on. What the hell were you thinking?", Temari's voice faltered a bit as she spoke and Shikamaru let his head fall down. _I've _

_been troublesome myself._ Shikamaru was disgusted with himself, and though he could not bare to look at Temari's face he was sure it reflected hurt and anger. Temari crawled

forward a bit on her hands and knees until she was half on top of Shikamaru's lap and looking up at him. Shikamaru smiled as he saw her beautiful face so free of the malice and

anger he deserved. "I'm sor--" Before Shikamaru could finish Temari had gently pushed her lips against his, leaning on one of her right arm and moving her left hand to rub the

side of his face. Shikamaru showed his shock only for a moment before returning the passionate kiss. He felt her tongue ask for entrance and he quickly allowed it wanting

nothing more than to taste her. It was heaven. The kiss warmed him quickly, and though he would never admit it his headache became a slightly less severe as his attention

turned elsewhere. Just as Shikamaru moved forward putting more effort into his heavenly moment it was gone. Shikamaru felt the pressure of Temari leave him, and as he

opened his eyes he saw her walking away. He suddenly felt cold, and as Shikamaru was about to protest Temari spoke first. "I'm going back to Suna. Look me up when you

get your $hit together. Bye Shikamaru." Temari waved without even looking as she exited the building. Shikamaru didn't move, he didn't get up. It was troublesome. Everything

was becoming troublesome._ Why did I think I could handle this. God it's too much I can't even take care of one woman let alone three, and now Temari's gone._ After

brooding Shikamaru pulled himself together (at least physically) And left the house. He'd figured Tayuya had probably been sealed in his room, and not having the energy to deal

with that he left to try and figure a way to get Tayuya out of the village. Shikamaru thought and walked the village until he had a plan he knew would succeed, and by the time he

had finished he was extremely hungry. After all he had left in such a hurry the morning before he hadn't had time to eat._ Tayuya's gonna be pissed that she's been locked up _

_all day, and Ino…I'm just thankful I haven't had to deal with her yet. This is such a drag. _(sadness reaching his face) _Temari. I'm not gonna lose you, I promise I…_

Shikamaru almost let his mind slip to the earlier happening that proceeded Temari's departure, but Stopped as he passed by Ichiraku Ramen. "Naruto-kun why does she get to

sit in your lap". Shikamaru heard a familiar voice whine. He moved closer to the building as he heard the conversation continue. "First come first serve, sorry kid.". "Naruto-Kun

that's not fair". "I cant even touch him." "Ladies please I'm not going anywhere can you just calm down for a second. You just sit here, and Sakura move over so ..ya like that,

and let me just move my hand. See There's plenty of room" Naruto's voice rang through the shop, as Shikamaru's curiosity peeked. _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! _

Slipping under the Shades at the entrance, Shikamaru snuck into a back booth and stared amazed at the sight in front of him. It wasn't Naruto that surprised him, but what was

going on around him. Sakura and Anko were happily sitting on his lap feeding him ramen andperidoically kissing him, as Shizune stood behind him giving him a back message.

One seat over sat Hinata, who was obviously with the group, but couldn't bare to show any public displays of affection; had her hand placed gently over one of his free hands.

_O.O How..How did he do it. I mean theres four of them . That is.. This is such a pain. I mean Naruto..That's just…_ Shikamaru was at a loss for words, and so he

ordered a bowl of ramen and sat there. Naruto and the four girls continued to converse and fight, for a couple of hours. All the while Shikamaru mentally noted Naruto's every

action, as troublesome as it was, and when They finally got up to leave Shikamaru put his hand on Naruto's shoulder trying to get his attention. Naruto turned causing the girls to

all do the same. "Hey! Shikamaru what's up?" Naruto looked genuinely happy to see him, and he showed it by giving Shikamaru a firm slap on the back. Shikamaru couldn't

help but smile as he shoved his hands in his pocket. "Can I talk to you for a while?"

**Ok that was it, Don't worry about Temari guys she'll be back I promise, and please read and review so I know what your thinking.**


	7. SHikamaru's Harem Chapter Seven Naruto

-1_**HELLO ALL TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! I REALLY ENJOYED THIS ONE I HOPE YOU DO TOO. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. BUT IF I DID…WELL NARUTO REALLY WOULD BE IN THE SITUATION HE'S IN, IN THIS FIC.**_

"Hey! Shikamaru what's up?" Naruto looked genuinely happy to see him, and gave Shikamaru a firm slap on the back. Shikamaru couldn't help but smile as he shoved his

hands in his pockets. "Can I talk to you for a while?" Naruto looked curious for a second but soon after his face turned to it's usual fox like grin as he responded. "Sure

Shikamaru. Um just gimmie a second." Shikamaru nodded as Naruto ran back to the group of girls. Shikamaru did his best to follow the conversation. "But..but Naruto-kun

you promised we could go see a movie," Hinata stammered as the other girls gave him either an upset or angry look. _I don't care how what Naruto thinks he's not getting _

_out of this one. _Thought Shikamaru as he looked at the scene that was unfolding before him. His attention turned to Anko as she spoke up next. "Naruto Hinata's right, now I

don't know what the hell you think your pulling, but I think we made it clear that today we get our time with you?" Anko finished yelling picking up Naruto by his shirt. Shizune

nodded approvingly as Sakura made a pounding motion with her fist. Shikamaru's face turned to a frown for a second. _Nice job genius you just got him in trouble.._ Naruto's

smile faded as he looked down from Anko, and the other girls eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just..Shikamaru's my friend he always has been..and I don't think I would feel right if I left

him in his current condition. Forgive me." Naruto finished his heartfelt speech, leaving Shikamaru a bit embarrassed, and with a quick motion captured Anko's lips in his own.

She looked surprised for a minute but soon closed her eyes deepening the kiss and laying Naruto on his feet. Shikamaru blushed and turned away. While Hinata, Sakura, and

Shizune smiled a hint of red on their cheeks. Naruto broke the kiss and took a deep breath as he smiled. "I'll tell you what. All of you come by my house tonight and we'll have

a sleepover!" Naruto gave a huge smile as he finished. _No way..no way in hell is that going to work Naruto_. Thought Shikamaru still stunned that he had kissed Anko and the

other girls hadn't flipped. Another shock hit Shikamaru as he looked to see their reactions. Hinata had fainted, and was being fanned off by Sakura as Anko gave a huge

perverse smile a trickle of blood coming from her nose. Shizune was covering her face nodding a huge blush on her face. "They really are cute when there like this," Thought

Naruto. "Fine kid, but so help me if your not waiting for us at 8:oo I'll murder you in your sleep." Anko gave Naruto's cheek a long taste before she poofed away. Naruto

smiled as he walked over and gave Shizune a small pat on her rear causing her to let out an eep. "I'll see you later Shizune-chan." Naruto smiled as she walked away blushing

and whispering to her self. "Naruto I'm gonna go take Hinata to get something to eat I'll see you tonight," Sakura lifted Hinata up and gave Naruto a small peck on the lips

before walking away.

Naruto Let a huge smile come to his face as he turned to a stunned Shikamaru. "No..no no..WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT NARUTO!" Shikamaru yelled very out of

character looking extremely embarrassed. "What that? Don't worry Shikamaru they won't be able to stay mad long." Naruto laughed again giving Shikamaru a thumbs up. _I'm _

_confused. I'm confused….Why is everything so troublesome…_ Shikamaru's thoughts came to an end as Naruto leaned close to him. "So what's so important Shikamaru?",

asked Naruto. Shikamaru motioned Naruto to follow and they found themselves sitting on a nearby bench. "Naruto its…I have no idea how to say this." Shikamaru put his face

in his hands as Naruto leaned in curiously. "Well I don't know what I can do Shikamaru I've always been more of a fighter than therapist, but I'll do what I can", Naruto smiled.

_Well he obviously knows more than I do in this subject. It couldn't hurt to tell him._

Shikamaru told Naruto the whole story including Temari leaving, and after Naruto promised he wouldn't tell Tsunade, he told him about more or less breaking Tayuya out of

prison. Shikamaru finished his story and looked up to see Naruto's reaction. _-- (yes That is Shikamaru's thought)_ Naruto's face was scrunched up in such a way that it was

obvious he was holding back laughter. "hmm…giggle I guess That means..um..PFFTT! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! SHIKAMARU YOU HAVE IT SO

BAD WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!", Naruto erupted into laughter causing nearby people to stare and Shikamaru to turn an even deeper shade of red. "Naruto quiet

down people are starting!" Shikamaru tried to say as calmly as he could. "HAHAHAHAHHA HOW CAN I? YOUR..HAHAHAHAHA THE KAZEKAGE'S SISTER, AN

ELITE EMENY OF OUR VILLAGE, AND..WELL INO! HAHAHAH!", Naruto kept laughing and eventually fell off of the bench. "Never mind This is too troublesome

anyway. I'll see you later Naruto." Shikamaru sighed, got up, and began walking away before feeling a slight resistance on his shirt. Shikamaru turned to see a heavy breathing

Naruto with a few tears on his cheek. "Wait..huff.huff. Shikamaru I'll help." Naruto smiled pulling Shikamaru back to the bench. _He laughed so hard he cried…_ "Okay, well

spit it out Naruto what the hell am supposed to do with this troublesome situation. Naruto composed himself and gave Shikamaru one of his trade mark grins. "how the hell

should I know I'm just going to give you some advice." Naruto stated matter o' factly. "What! Wait Naruto can't you just tell me how you got all those girls to like you enough

to deal with you dating more than just one of them?", Shikamaru asked looking confused. "Sorry Shikamaru but I honestly don't know how I got myself into this situation. It just

seemed to happen." Naruto looked down blushing as he thought about the whole chain of events. Shikamaru looked annoyed. _Then this is pointless Naruto doesn't even _

_know what he did. Figures, I better get home. _"Naruto if you don't know that's fine, but I gotta go. I'll talk to you later", Shikamaru waved and again started to leave. "Um

Shikamaru wait my advice?", Naruto called after him. Shikamaru stopped and looked back. _I guess I better listen I called him out after all. sigh _"Okay Naruto shoot.",

Shikamaru lazily replied not really caring anymore. "Great! Now Shikamaru listen closely. I may not have any idea how I got to be with four beautiful women, but remember to

listen to them, and put their needs before your own. If you make them feel like their just another girlfriend you'll hurt them." Naruto finished leaving Shikamaru's mouth hanging

open._ When did Naruto become somewhat intelligent….Ugg. This is too troublesome to think about. _"Thanks Naruto I'll keep that in mind." Shikamaru smiled lazily as he

walked away. Naruto stood up and rubbed the back of his head. " Well I hope things work out for him. Anyways what did I…Damn I invited them all over to stay the night,

and I really needed some sleep." Naruto finished and started walking home, but changed directions towards the market when he realized Anko would be there. "I better get

some Band-Aids."

**At Shikamaru's House**

"DAMNIT INO YOU BIT23 LET ME OUT OF THAT FAGGOTS ROOM!" Tayuya's voice screamed from Shikamaru's room. "THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT'S

GOING TO HAPPEN SOUND WITCH! You probably try and kill me!" Ino screamed back. "Damn strait I'm going to kill you! And who the hell are you calling a Witch,

Wh232!" Tayuya screamed back. Hearing the screams already Shikamaru laid his head against the front door. "So troublesome, I still don't know what I should

do…"Shikamaru sighed.

**In Suna**

"Is she still in her room?" Kankurou asked walking up to Gaara. Temari had locked herself in her room as soon as she got home, and The two Brothers finally feeling worried

stood outside her room. Gaara nodded not making any real noise. Kankurou let out a huge sigh as he sat down against her door. "I dounno what happened Gaara but this is

starting to be troublesome." Kankurou finished and laid his head back against the door. Gaara's eyes widened with a sudden realization that did not go unnoticed by his brother.

"What is it?" Kankurou asked quickly standing back up. Gaara's face returned to its usual cold stoic look as one word escaped his mouth. "Troublesome…"

_**OH NOES! GAARA KNOWS SHIKAMARU IS RESPONSIBLE FOR TEMARI'S DEPRESSION!**_

_**I KNOW THIS CHAPTER WAS A LITTLE DIFFICULT, BUT I THINK IT CAME OUT WELL FOR THE MOST PART. I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE **_

_**WILL BE OUT SOONER AND INCLUDE MORE FLUFF! OH AND EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS UP WILL BE **_

_**IN A LITTLE SKIT WITH ME AT THE END. **_


	8. SHikamaru's Harem CHapter Eight InoTayu

Ino that's enough…" Shikamaru calmly stated walking towards the hallway than enclosed the enraged red head. "But but Shika-kun?" Ino tried to protest but before she was able to Shikamaru's voice interrupted her his back calmly leaning against the whitewashed wall. "Ino…Can you do a favor for me?" shikamaru turned his head towards her allowing a bit of arrogance to appear on his thin lips causing a burst of crimson to find its way to Ino's face. "what..what's going on…" the blonde asked herself tugging at her skirt and nodding avoiding the a grin that was so uncharacteristic for her long time team mate. Shikamaru took another step placing his hands in his pockets and leaning down to Ino's eye level. "I'm gonna need you to stay with your family for a few days… Ino looked as if she would protest but before she could Shikamaru's genius pushed his hand to her cheek causing her heat to reach her limit and Ino's knees to shake a bit. "This isn't Shikama…" Ino's thoughts tried to tell her before her head nodded. "Okay…I'll see you in a few days… Ino smiled her face still a cherry kissing Shikamaru's palm before rushing out the door elated at the situation that had just transpired. She didn't care if he needed a little space. "He's finally coming around!" Ino giggled disappearing towards her previous home.

As soon as Ino was safely outside of the door Shikamaru allowed a huge breath to escape from his mouth, his shoulders slumped, his eyes drooped and the smile he had so ruthlessly held turned into a frown. "I don't care how effective Naruto's methods are that's too troublesome…." Shikamaru made a bunch of frustrated noises messing up his hair, leaning back against the wall. "AGGG!" Shikamaru allowed his eyes to reach the ceiling playing over the events that would proceed tonight, his plan finally starting, the way he desired and all he could do was sigh. A bit of anxiety met his heart as he realized how much he'd been doing that lately and shikamaru had planned on just a moments rest, but before his heaven was given to him, an angel tore it from him. "SHIKAMARU YOU SALTY FUCK! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO LEAVE ME IN HEAR LONGER! IM SORRY YOU DRIED UP BALLS ARE SO TIRED THAT YOU CAN'T GET OFF YOUR ASS, BUT I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM DAMNIT!" Tayuya screamed from the other side of the doorway. T~T…. "Think I could set kagamane no jutsu to strangle me after I've lost consciousness?"

After releasing an extremely pissed of sound nin from his bedroom, and doing his best to calm her down, Shikamaru had agreed that he would help her escape tonight just after 3:23 am. When shed asked why that number he'd simply stated Tayuya's brain capacity wasn't large enough to grasp it which is why he was now walking around with a melting bag of ice on his head. "You know woman that really wasn't necessary." Shikamaru frowned walking down the street next to the woman her arms folded. "Yes it was, you should never treat a lady like that dibshit.". "I agree you seen one dirt mouth?" Tayuya walked ahead as shikamaru held the new lump on his head he had just received.

After several hours of aimless wandering Tayuya was fed up. "OIY RAT BASTARD WHY THE HELL ARE WE DOING THIS?!" Tayuya finally screamed stopping next to a park causing a few children to run off crying. Shikamaru let an annoyed look reach his face knowing he would soon need to put on an act again. "Doing what Tayuya?" Taken back abit at the sound of her voice over the usual woman…the red head averted her eyes and responded a little les wildly. "Why are we walking around like this….. Doing nothing…Cant we just stay in till tonight? I don't wanna have to see your ugly…face…Fucker.." She added realizing she hadn't cursed. "Lets begin the performance…" Shikamaru thought leaning against the tree located behind him before speaking. "Tayuya your leaving tonight, after supposedly being away from your husband for a massive amount of time. Do you know how troublesome that's gonna be for me? Anbu are probably watching us around the clock, and once you are gone ill probably be on probation. The least you could do is help my disguise and act somewhat affectionate." Shikamaru frowned pushing a lose strand from his ponytail behind his ear. "…." Tayuya just sat there for amount her mouth hanging open. "Nothing to say woman?" Shikamaru smiled leaning back up and walking down the street. "WAI..WAIT YOU FUCKER!!!" Tayuya screamed sprinting forward and grabbing onto Shikamaru's arm placing her head against Shikamaru's shoulder causing him to stop. " What are you doing woman?" Shikamaru asked not letting the smile reach his lips. After a moment of pause the two started walking. "So woman you wanna get something to eat before you leave me to rot?" Shikamaru let a huge yawn escape his lips looking down at the clinging flute mistress. "Better be expensive dick." Tayuya smiled elbowing Shikamaru in the gut. -_- "I'm doing this to well…" Shikamaru thought.

**Village Gates**

"Isn't this a pleasant surprise Gaara, just when were about to disembowel the pineapple the hokage gives us a letter asking for help regarding the fruit." Kankurou Laughed his hands on the back of his head. Gaara allowed a feral growl to escape his throat as they were buzzed into the gate. "Kankurou do you find the trouble he's caused Temari amusing?" Gaara asked walking further down the leaf's streets. A bead of sweat slid slowly down the bank of the kabuki brothers neck. "No lil bro I mean Gaara I mean Kazekage-sama…." Kankurou stumbled over his words. Gaara walked ahead a bit heading towards the Hokage manor the sun starting to set.

**L'ange-Sans-Ailes: I FOUND THE BASTARD HES IN HERE! (points to door)**

**Blix: OHH GOD NO PLEASE! IM SORRY! (bolts door shut)**

**SHIKASAKU: ! THERE HE IS! CUT OF HIS WRIST AND USE IT!**

**(BUNCH OF READERS START POUNDING ON DOOR)**

**BLIX: PLEASE GOD NO MY WIFE AND ME NEED THAT HAND!**

**Ndasuunye: Oh please, your hands probably as bad as your writing, wa wa I criticize to much.**

**SHiKASAKU: lol that's cold. WAIT WHY HAVENT YOU UPDATED!**

**Blix: oh come on I've been an otaku forever I wanted to get a wife.**

**Ndasuunye: LIES! KILL THE NONBELIEVER! **

**L'ange-Sans-Ailes****: wow he's a dick -_-**

**Blix: I know right? But he did have long reviews.**

**Lotus2490: DON'T LOSE FOCUS! HES BEEN GONE FOR TOO LONG!**

**TEMARIFL: Hey lotus your cute….**

**Blix: (writing) I'm sorry this wont happen again forgive me T~T**

**Lotus2490: O.o what the hell is going on?**

**TemariFL: *snuggling lotus***

**L'ange-Sans-Ailes****… -_- I'm going to the bleach section.**

**Ndasuunye: wah wah wah. I eat babies.**

**ShikaSaku. My reviews were the reason this chapter was written. They were so uplifting.**

**Blix:T~T I promise I wont wait so long again, I was very ill. Promise updates fast. If you weren't included down her I'm sorry just email me with a desire to be in the dumb skit. **


	9. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter Nine GaaraTsun

**My computer has been destroyed for almost a year, and guess what. I just got a new one. I honestly apologize for my long breaks in writing and I assure all of you that I will be updating on a consistent schedule. Also you should all now that after my long pause my writing style has changed. If all of you find this distasteful please tell me. To all my readers I love you. Please review.**

_Hokage's office_

The big breasted blonde beauty that currently held the title of Hokage was drunk. Not a little drunk, but severely drunk. Bottles and beakers and paperwork were scattered around the floor and under the current circumstances she didn't much care.

"Hiccup" she squeaked before dragging her strong yet feminine hands across her mahogany desk. "I can't to do this." She started looking to the broken clock sitting at the right of her desk. "Not only do I have to deal with this shitty paperwork but the village's smartest shinobi is dangerously close to becoming a missing ninja." As she finished she sighed wondering where the hell Shizune was at twelve in the afternoon. She wasn't necessarily required to be here at the moment but to be this late she'd have had to be out late last night. "Maybe she got laid, Hiccup." Murmured the Hokage before laughing at the absurdity of the thought. Several moments of silence passed before several large thuds were produced from the other side of her office door.

"Hokage-Sama?" Called an uninteresting voice. Sighing the strong woman raised her head and brushed of several drool stained papers that had decided to cling to her face.

"What is it?" She responded, the door opening slightly.

"The Kazekage is here with his brother as per your request." As the door was fully opened the nameless speaker stepped to the aside permitting Gaara and Kankurou to enter the room. The dark puppet master bowed in respect as Tsunade motioned away the nameless ninja and gave a bow back in respect to the two sand brothers.

"This will be fun to do wasted." She noted before speaking aloud. "I am very gracious that you two were so prompt in your revival. I trust there were no problems?" questioned the only female in the room.

"There weren't any issues." Stated Gaara stoically. Kankurou shook his head amused with how unsociable his younger brother was. Tsunade cleared her throat before beginning.

"Well as you are both aware, the message I sent to you was deemed detergent. I mean urgent. That is, the shinobi described in the letter has resigned himself to a pie. I mean lie, a lie about being betrothed to a confirmed member of Orochimaru's Sound 4." Sputtered the slightly drunk woman.

"Understood." Gaara nodded before his brother began speaking.

"I trust that this wasn't the sole reason for asking the Kazekage to make an appearance?" asked Kankurou knowingly. Tsunade shook her head sloppily before gripping the sides of her desk for support, her breasts lazily spread over the wooden table.

"There have been several accounts from our anbu that Shikamaru has had several accounts with a Temari of the Sand. Your sister. Said accounts have all been romantic in nature and I would like to propose…propose…propose…" Tsunade's head wavered slightly the room suddenly spinning around her. Quickly the Kazekage moved forward placing his arm around the full figured woman's waist.

"Are you alright Hokage-Sama?" questioned the unmoving puppet master. Tsunade nodded and sat back up in her chair blushing slightly as the silent red head helped her up and paused to make sure she had her balance. Tsunade gave an insignificant not that told Gaara he could step back before she tried to speak again.

"Your sister and Nara Shikamaru have been involved romantically for many weeks according to my Anbu units and as such I would like to propose a proposal. An arranged marriage between our villages in order to promote good will between our two nations." Tsunade's voice weakened as she choked out the end and mentally vowed to never drink again unless Shizune was present at some point to stop her.

"That's ridiculous! You think that we'd allow our sister to marry that dib-shit just so you could catch him in a lie?" raged Kankurou his red headed brother silent.

"I admit. That we have ulterior motives. If the marriage is declined by the Nara clan we can question the grounds and order them to produce paperwork of Shikamaru's marriage to the sound ninja." Tsunade's buzz had begun to fade and was now in the process of transforming into a massive hangover.

"And then what, you find him guilty and Temari gets left high and dry?" Retorted the purple faced ninja wondering why his brother was not offering him any support.

"Nara Shikamaru is one of our village's smartest ninjas. We have no intention of imprisoning him once the marriage has been insisted. My council has agreed on a stern probation." The blonde finished knowing that with all the information given she had to wait for a response. And hopefully it would come soon, because as pleasant as the love tattoo on Gaara's forehead was to look at, her head was pounding.

"This is ridiculous! We won't accept such…" Kankurou began but was cut off by the young Kazekage.

"The Sand Village accepts."

_Shikamaru's Apartment_

Lunch had been tolerable to say the very least. Tayuya had eaten ungodly amounts of expensive food that would undoubtedly leave him eating 'Cup o' Noodles' for a few weeks but it wasn't something that severally irked him. After all food in two minutes was much more convenient then walking down the street. The lethargic heart throb let his eyes fall on the clock at his night stand. The red haired tornado was currently sleeping and despite his nerves he knew he should be doing the same. After all his bed was empty, his house silent, and he had gone over the plan several thousand times, mentally at last. He would exit the village at 8:57 P.M. and call out to the anbu that would be following them. Under Article 4-B, subsection 17 of the Village's marriage laws any form of Intel gathering was not permitted during any romantic encounter. Furthermore it was considered a human right among all nations to permit…to permit. Shikamaru's head always felt hazy as he thought of this part. It was a basic right for any individual, ninja or civilian, to engage in the act of sex without fear of intentional prying eyes. A small crimson crept it's way up the Shadow user's face before he sat up on his bed, the small pineapple shaped ponytail dipping forward lazily.

"I just hope there isn't a required point to reach before observation is discontinued." Sighed the genius robbing his temples whilst thoughts, troublesome in nature, spun around in his head.

**So there. A chapter for you all. The story will be updated weekly as I now have a computer, and please review if you can. They give me the strength to keep going. **


	10. Shikamaru's Harem Chapter 10 DollUp

_So I've been working on a piece that has been published in real life and such a piece takes months and months of work. Sorry about that, I will try to be more active. This will be shorter as I'm updating all my stories to show my readers I'm not dead. _

"Are you out of your *ucking mind!" screamed Tayuya while pressing Shikamaru as hard as she could against his kitchen wall. "If you think I'm gonna let a limp dic* *ucker like you touch me, you have *hit for brains!" she finished showing as much teeth as she could. Shikamaru's eyes narrowed and lazily fell to meet her.

"We don't have a choice Princess. We have anbu watching us 24/7 and unless we give them a motive to leave, your chances of escaping are zero," he responded trying not to notice the small amount of cleavage he could she from this angle. He momentarily wondered if the view was intentional.

"And what makes you think that us *ucking is gonna make the anbu leave us alone?" she yelled. Shikamaru moved his hands up and released himself from her grasp; finally, becoming annoyed with her tight grip. If he had to go out and purchase a new jacket it would be troublesome.

"Rule 7A in the Anbu code of conduct dictates that watching a target engage in any sort of sexual charged action is restricted," he explained. "It's goes against the human rights set down by all villages," he finished. Tayuya seethed as she paced back and forth in the room. She couldn't believe this. She needed to get out of this *hithole yes, but the fact that the success of her escape depended on this *sshole feeling her hope rubbed her the wrong way. "No pun intended," she thought with a sigh.

"Fine," she mumbled letting her arms hang. Shikamaru stretched and pocketed his hands.

"We need to leave her at 8:57," he began. "Dress nice if you can manage that. Ino probably left some clothes in her closet." As he finished he exited the room leaving Tayuya pissed once more that he had dared to ask her to dress nice. She always dressed nice.

"Like hell I'm wearing that *hore's clothes!" She called out.

The next few hours passed awkwardly. Shikamaru slept and Tayuya sat on Ino's bed biting her nails while staring at several low cut dresses. "Bullshi*," she muttered a crimson flush painting her face. "Complete Bullshi*."

"You ready?" Shikamaru asked walking into the room when the time finally came. Getting a good look at her a let out a dissatisfied groan at the fact that not only had she not changed, but she had torn up several of Ino's dresses and left them as tattered rags on the floor. "Was that really necessary?" he asked.

"Yes," she responded a satisfied smirk on her face.

"Why is that?" he mumbled pocketing his hands and leaning in the doorway.

"Fuc* you that's why," the feisty red head responded before walking past him and towards the door. Just as she reached it Shikamaru's hand stretched out and found its way around Tayuya's hip. The disgruntled girl quickly yipped and jumped forward like a frog put on a hotplate. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked venom in her voice.

"The second we leave this house we're going to be under strict surveillance, so if you don't wanna blow our cover I suggest you woman up," Shikamaru said an unusual uneasiness in his voice. Tayuya grabbed his hand and wrapped it around her shoulder.

"I don't wanna do anything more than we need to," She growled while opening the front door. 'So keep your hands off my ass," She said. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as the two exited his house.

"I'll try Princess," he said.

_-Like I said Short. But I should be more regular now. _


End file.
